Too tired to really post more information. Been in the ER for the fourth time in a never ending cycle of med stuff. Surgery will likely be early next week. Not very responsive on any fronts, I am deteriorating rapidly.
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I am more repetitive than ever. So a week ago, I made the decision to rein in my online activity. Follow through matters on promises and I realized I have been overextending myself. Until I am absolutely sure I can commit to RPs, I will slowly resume activity at a level I feel I can reasonably sustain. This is to be fair to all those involved and I will not be engaging in anything until I am absolutely 100% sure that I am capable of doing it.
Surgery will likely be happening in the next week or two. That involves a year of physical recovery, though I should be more mentally with it and emotionally and mentally stable enough to actually start committing to regular RP responses - what the regularity will be - I don't know. But do keep in mind - it is brain surgery and I am not going to return until I am actually sure that I can sustain and maintain a reasonable level of activity. Things that seem rational on a Tuesday night become obviously apparent to me by the next morning they weren't. I am essentially perpetually drunk - and trust me, for me, that is not fun RP. I get more repetitive and incoherent as things go on and irritable. To stop myself from doing anything stupid, I am essentially banning myself from any major decisions in regards to RP - aka resuming it before I am ready. Given I have no idea in terms of how long this will be a week, 2 weeks -feel free to end relationships and friendships and so forth if this doesn't work for you. I can't make any promises right now - RP may be once a month, RP may be once a week, I honestly don't know right now and I am in no shape to commit to anything beyond matrimonial sleep to my pillow. My health is taking the priority and worsening at the moment. I'll try to give a more precise time frame when I am not under the influence of being brain drunk. I am incoherent and repetitive. So - to those this may potentially impact, I am sorry. Know long term partners and best friends have the given priority in terms of responding to RP. Upon my return, I am going to be reining in the amount of RPs I have, I will be slow and I am not planning to returning the activity I was before. Hopefully my health issues should abate once the surgery does occur. In short: I am slow. And I know it. And <3 to anyone that stuck through this whole rambling message. Have an unicorn! |